I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine. — Bruce Lee
Meet "John." He's one of the beta-testers for this guide, and he ensured that our research worked in the real world.
For his privacy's sake, we'll keep his name as "John" — not his real name.
He started the guide without prior experience with online dating and needed help figuring out where to start, what to say, and what to do.
We expect that many of you are in the same position as only three-in-ten adults say they have ever used a dating site or app [1].
If you're one of these people, we want you first to understand what's possible regarding finding love online.
And if you're already using a dating app or site, we want to prepare you for what to expect.
John and a few dozen others tested this guide for six months. Their data, combined with dozens of published research papers, confirmed which dating profiles work best, which pick-up lines to use, and the easiest way to turn an online relationship into an offline one.
And after following along with the research outlined in the following pages, we are delighted with their results, especially John's:
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For those unfamiliar with this screen, it's from a popular dating app in the United States called "Tinder.”
Like many other dating apps, users either "like" or "dislike" other users’ profiles to indicate their interest in a potential mate.
As you can see in the screenshot of John's Tinder message board, he's matched with over 500 people in 24 weeks!
Get giddy.
Additionally, over 99 users have already liked John's profile and expressed interest. We imagine John will have a hectic dating life shortly—lucky him.
If you think we are cherry-picking, John wasn't an anomaly (a rare case) in our dataset. Out of the dozens of people who helped test this guide, the average number of likes over many different dating apps and websites was 412 people!
Here's the good news: Each person, like John, got on Tinder and is a potential mate, maybe for life. Or if he is feeling a bit frisky for a potential hookup, we'll let him into this later.
Now for some bad news: We can't guarantee these results for some. Life isn't, and you might get more likes than John or fewer. But here are a few things that we can guarantee:
- Roughly six in ten online daters (57%) say they have had an overall positive experience with online dating [1].
- More than half of Americans (54%) say that relationships on a dating site or app are as successful as in person [1].
- Most online daters report that it was easy to find people on dating sites or apps with whom they found attractive and shared common interests [1].
- About one in ten U.S. adults (12%) say they have been in a committed relationship with or married someone they met through a dating site or app [1].
All the bullet points summarize one central idea: You can and should seek out love online. Dating apps and websites are tools to maximize your chance of finding "the one" you want to spend the rest of your life with.
In the next 10 minutes, you'll consume dozens of research papers, all condensing into actionable steps you can use today. Here's an overview of what you're about to cover:
Prerequisites
This guide doesn't have strict requirements, but we'd hate for you to read it all and then find out that you can't use it.
Horny bastard—just kidding. Even if you're under 18, this guide has many helpful tips and tricks that you can use for your high school shenanigans.
If you don't have access to a phone, you can use this guide by using the web app of some dating services. But double-check this on the next page.
Suppose you check off both of these boxes, sweet. If you can’t, you won't be able to complete the guide, but you can learn many tips and tricks. With all that out of the way, let's get started.
2. The Prep Stage